the aftermath of too much thinking

Turns out that life altering decisions are the best decisions you can make because WHAT IS THE WORST THAT CAN HAPPEN? Life is only fun if you spend a significant portion of it surprising yourself.

what just happened?

I have been saying that to myself almost daily for the last two months. Seriously, what is happening? Between my personal life, professional life, and the stress I endure from reading local and national news almost every day I have hardly been able to grasp what is actually happening around me.

As a person I had grown to be miserable and exhausted with zero understanding of why I was living my life in a particular way. I became neurotic about my job and planned my personal life (which became nonexistent) around a job I didn’t even mildly enjoy. I enjoyed working with most of some of my coworkers but overall I’d grown tired of the job, the environment, and the company around me. I would ask myself before work, at work, after work, ‘why are you here?’ If I was that unhappy and life around me was proving to be shorter than I’d ever known before I just knew I had to get out. I never imagined I would leave this job because after eight years I had fallen into a very comfortable rhythm. I felt that I was pretty good at my job. I always did my best to learn more and do well at whatever was dropped in my lap but it had no meaning. Ah, there’s the thought we’ve been developing here. I think there are people who could be perfectly happy doing the job I did because they might care more, or adapt better than I did. After leaving school to pursue something better I fell into this job. Then I realized this was not the better I was looking for. So very abruptly I just quit. I. QUIT. MY JOB. OMG. I was more shocked than any of my management team I think. As the words came out of my mouth I felt as if I was standing outside my body watching this other being who looked like me make this life altering decision.  Freaky.  Turns out that life altering decisions are the best decisions you can make because WHAT IS THE WORST THAT CAN HAPPEN? Life is only fun if you spend a significant portion of it surprising yourself. So I left a large corporation to work for a brand new small business owner and it kind of sucked. I had more realizations about myself at this job: I had grown impatient. I knew that some day I wanted to own my own little cafe so after a week of trying to share my knowledge and help this little baby business grow I thought why the hell am I trying to help people who don’t appreciate my knowledge and experience grow their business when I could work for myself instead? Phew, long thought there. Basically this new business needed a lot of work. I mean, obviously, it is a new business! There is no time like the present to start working on your dreams so again something crazy happened. After two weeks, I QUIT MY NEW JOB. SERIOUSLY? I was fighting with myself because why would someone continue quitting jobs when they have bills to pay and who enjoys having an income to appease their lifestyle choices? I found a nice part-time job that I am actually going to enjoy (I think, lets not get ahead of ourselves here) so that I could start my own business!

My sister and I opened a creative studio!! We started with photography of our sweet basset hound, Harrison, and made greeting cards. Then props got involved and the pictures got funnier and the cards became epic and then our creative juices started flowing into other projects. Hence the creative studio… we couldn’t focus on just one project! It is starting small but we work hard and I’m happy!! I’ve made adjustments to accommodate my smaller income and I’m not just dreaming. Dreams don’t work unless you do so I am working extra hard to reach the enormous dreams I have for my life.

Sorry, have you moved on yet because I’m still hung up on the fact that I quit my job and that was like four weeks ago. It feels like a lifetime ago yet it also seems like it was yesterday. Interesting.

I will be using this blog to chronicle my new path in life. This originally was place for me to publish pieces of my writing but things change as we’ve learned from above. I haven’t had much time to write what with all the other things I am doing for our business so maybe someday when I have more time I can pull together some writing pieces and publish them sporadically. I am totally on this new swing to push people towards something they say they wish they could do or something they might try in the future. The future is now!! We don’t know how many tomorrows we have and with my growing concerns for potential war and the health of humanity I think we should all do the things we love and spread as much kindness around as we can.

until next time, jenna

let us catch up quickly

Hello strangers!! It has been entirely too long since I’ve written on here.  It was a lot easier to keep up with my blog when I was in school and didn’t have a job and family obligations keeping me busy.  I basically work a full time job while still trying to write (which I hate to admit hasn’t happened in a while), keep up with my family and friends, and be a twenty something enjoying her summer.  I recently realized that there was no point in calling myself a writer unless I actually write and put that first in my life.  SO…here I am, proving that I am a writer and I can do this.  It’s hard when you’re so passionate about something but it isn’t a top priority in your life because you have other adult responsibilities.  What is the point in life if you don’t make time to do the things that make you happy?

I basically could have written an entire collection of novels about just my summer but I’ll save most of that for my memoirs when I’m an aged writer.  Quick notes: made new friends, fell in love with Anna Kendrick, went to a wine party (#freewine), got blood drawn for the first time, and my hair is lighter.

It’s hard to believe in just over three weeks I’ll be headed back to school and fairly soon after will be able to call myself a college graduate.  I look back and think how far I have come and how much I have changed because of the drastic decisions I made last year.  Even just in these last few months I feel like I have a firmer grasp on who I really am and where I am going more so than I did at the beginning of the summer.  I am making plans for my future and seriously thinking about what the real adult world will be like post-graduation in May.  In less than a year I will be officially done with school!  It’s crazy to think I will have spent 18 years in school.  My entire life has basically been school – what will it be like to never be a student again? Out into the real world I will go! It’s terrifying but also extremely exciting.  Anything can happen and I can literally create a life for myself.  That is the most exciting part.  I don’t have to let anyone else dictate my life.  Opinions are considered and valued but at the end of the day I will be who I am and do what I want.

I’ve been feeling a little rebellious and adventurous these last few weeks and I want to do something exciting.  I’m thinking I am in need of a vacation after working as much as I have this summer.  More coming soon – thanks for reading again and all of your support!

Hugs,

J